Top Five Tips for Dating Older Women
Seems like younger guys dating older women is suddenly in fashion. It used to be the case that whenever you saw an age discrepancy in a couple, it was always an older guy with a younger woman. Times have changed, however, and now it is not completely out of the pale to see a twenty-year old guy dating a woman old enough to be his mother. So, if you’re a guy dating an older woman and who wants to get into dating older women, what are some good tips that you should follow?
Be a Man!
This may sound obvious, but when you are dating an older woman, it may not be as easy as it sounds. First, unless you are the exception to the rule, it is probably the case that she will be more economically well off than you are. Even though there is still a salary discrepancy between men and women, a woman in her forties will still generally make more than a man in his twenties.
Ideally, you want to make enough money where you are not depending on her to take you on the kinds of dates she likes. Hanging with your buddies might be fun occasionally, and she might like feeling as if she is twenty again, but movies and back to your dump of an apartment probably won’t do it for her in the long run. Therefore, when she takes you out, it is important you do as much as you can to act like the man in the relationship. Hold the door for her. Find out what she wants and order for the both of you. Get her coat. All the stuff that makes her feel as if she is the gal and you are the guy.
Listen
This is a good rule regardless of the woman’s age, but is especially important when it comes to older women. You have to listen to what she has to say and focus on her. Avoid checking out the skirts going by your table at dinner—she knows all the tricks for doing this, so don’t think you are getting away with anything. Although, your boyish good looks might get you one or two dates, if you want it to last, you need to be able to get to know her and make her feel like you care about her as an individual. Find out about her life and her loves and challenges and be ready to show you have listened. If she likes a certain kind of flower or music, remember it next time you go out, and bring her that flower, or play that music in your car. These little touches go a long way to making her comfortable with you.
Be Discrete
Although you may think it’s great to brag to your friends about the cougar you are dating, when you’re dating older women, you may find they may not be as comfortable with it as you are. Women are generally more conscious of their reputations anyway. So don’t show up unannounced at her work, or make indiscreet jokes with her friends. Pay attention to her cues. If she seems uncomfortable with announcing your relationship to her circle of business friends or her social circle respect that at the beginning. (If you relationship develops, of course, there will come a time when she will need to confront this problem, but it need not be in the first six months of dating.)
Be Mature
Now especially, it is important to show you are capable of interacting with an older woman. Don’t make fart jokes or do things that will remind her that you are old enough to date her daughter. You want to show her that you are capable of relating to her as an equal. So try to read up on whatever she is interested in—be it art, theater, or business. Get familiar with her interests and work so that you can actually say something halfway intelligent when you are with her and her friends (should she choose to introduce you to them).
Know when it’s “Cougar Time”
Finally, you should also know when it is a good time to ignore the advice I have given you up until this time. Sometimes, older women are just looking for a good time with a younger guy. They might just be getting over a divorce and want to boost their self-esteem or they might just be on vacation and looking for some fun. When you sense that it is just a short-term fling, then you not only need not regard the advice I have given you, but you may in fact find that the opposite advice works better. She may want you to act your own age, and be crude, and brag about her in a somewhat indiscreet fashion. Sometimes, it is just “Cougar Time” when it comes to dating older women.