Pregnant and Dating: Things to Remember
It is not mutually exclusive to be pregnant and dating. Single pregnant women do not have to put their social life on hold for a stretch if they feel like they are in control of their lives and ready to move forward. While balancing these two important elements of their lives, it is advisable to keep a few things in mind.
Dating is not a cure for pregnancy
Sometimes being pregnant, while not being in a permanent relationship, can be hard both emotionally and physically. In such cases, it can be tempting to enter into a relationship to avoid thinking too much about the long-term reality of being pregnant. This is a wrong reason to date while pregnant. Pregnancy is a big reality of the woman’s life and it cannot be treated as something that can be ignored or denied. It is also not fair to any new relationship to expect the new partner to help fill emotional gaps. It is an unrealistic expectation and can put enormous pressure on the new relationship. So, starting to date with unreal expectations is a sure fire way to sabotage the possibility of any meaningful connection. It is okay to be pregnant and dating as long as the woman has a clear idea of where her life is and what she wants out of it. To seek all those answers in the dating pool during pregnancy is only going to add to the emotional drama of the pregnancy experience.
Honesty is the best policy
Sometimes, some pregnant women are tempted to hide the fact of the pregnancy while dating. This is especially the case in the early stages and it is even possible to get away with it for a while. However, this is not a good idea. Hiding such significant fact will make the woman seem unethical the minute the fact becomes obvious and may make the new partner distrust the pregnant woman. If the person is somebody with true long-term potential this will just be a bad foundation on which to build an on-going relationship. If the person, on the other hand, is incapable of handling a date with a pregnant woman it is a waste of time to focus on the relationship because the pregnancy and the baby are constant realities that cannot be swept away.
Choosing a partner and a parent
Dating while pregnant is a little different from dating while single without children. The baby, who is going to be a big part of the woman’s life in a short while, becomes a very important person in the relationship. So, it is important to add the criteria for a good parent along with other things on the woman’s list for a good life partner. Sometimes a guy may like the idea of a pregnant woman as a girlfriend but may not be interested in a relationship with a new mother – such a person is not a good candidate for a long-term commitment. It is important to consider these realities when exploring dating possibilities.
Keeping the bar high
A pregnant woman may sometimes feel grateful if a guy chooses to go with her despite her pregnancy. This sense of gratitude can make her lower her standards and this is not a good development. While a gentleman willing to commit to a woman who is carrying someone else’s child is special, it does not mean that the woman has to settle for less in other things that matter to her. In fact, the pregnancy should not make her feel like she has less to offer to the relationship. A partnership that starts with one person feeling indebted to the other is doomed to a lot of unhealthy patterns and is to be avoided at all costs.
A pregnant woman can date and hope to find a meaningful connection but it is important to keep these basic principles in mind while setting out to explore a new relationship.